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cry

by Brett Rawalt

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1.
one 03:47
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2.
two 04:18
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3.
three 02:40
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4.
four 05:06
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5.
five 04:16
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6.
six 04:12
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7.
seven 04:21
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8.
eight 04:08
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about

‘CRY’ was a weird little project from 2004 that was produced quickly, forgotten, and then lost. And really, it should not have been forgotten and certainly not lost, as it definitely contained some of my better recorded songs. But only now has it been resurrected and purposefully distributed.

The problem, at the time, was that I didn’t know what to do with the thing. My previous album was the Tibetan Punks little bundle of stupidity which was played for laughs. Very successful in that regard, it just felt weird to do a whole album of serious. And this album was SERIOUS. So much so, that I thoroughly doubted there was any way for me to “pull this off” and be taken seriously.

I remember being completely enamored with the idea of a concept album. (If you don’t know what that is, you should look it up.) While spending 2003 working with a church youth group, my songwriting centered around the theme of change. In particular, I was fascinated with people who had become bible-thumping christians after being completely hostile towards church and the very idea of a god. Truthfully, I was jealous of that kind of transformation, because I had tried so hard to become a different person and failed.

So the idea turned into an eight-song journey. A loud, rock-n-roll pilgrimage to the peace I was searching for. I enlisted the temporary help of some musical friends, and traded some website design for a quick recording session. I think we practiced once beforehand. Recorded bass, drums and guitar at the same time on a Saturday. We recorded some additional guitars and all the vocals on a couple of Sundays.

Paul Clark and Josh Maddox (bass and drums) far exceeded my expectations for the recording sessions, and Aaron Gray made it sound way better than it should have. I definitely got the better end of that trade, because the guy is a genius at this. It actually sounded TOO good, and I wasn’t prepared for it. I had a handful of CDs, and no way to share them. I couldn’t sell it at shows, because there was no actual band with which to put on a show. And there was still the nagging thought that the songs were too spiritual for the rock crowd and not churchy enough for the church crowd. Maybe it would offend everyone and no one would like it.

So the songs were never actually played live. I copied about 20 CDs, selling five. My promotions were limited to sending one to the college radio station, and giving away the rest to family and friends. I moved on to other musical endeavors, and that was that.

Until the great hard drive crash of 2012. My iMac crashed and burned just two days after my laptop was stolen, and I lost a lot of things I actually cared about. ‘CRY’ was one of the casualties, and I had zero CDs in my possession. Very sad at this point. Thankfully, I eventually discovered that my mom had saved a clean copy of the CD, and the resurrection process began.

Naturally, it really helps that tools for independent musicians have advanced greatly in the last 11 years. I did get to do some minor improvements before putting these up on bandcamp, and I’m happy to finally share this with everyone.

credits

released March 10, 2004

Brett Rawalt - Guitars, Vocals
Josh Maddox - Drums
Paul Clark - Bass
Aaron Gray - Guitars on one, four, five. Vocals on six.
Jessica Clark - Vocals on two and seven.

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brett rawalt Anchorage, Alaska

Not trying to be a rock star. I just like writing songs. (and one book.)

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